That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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