Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
