There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
