Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
