quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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