i need an iv and a liver transplant
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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