No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The power of my boobs compel you
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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