that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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