dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
A bitchslap is in order.
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