Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize