She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize