Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
