My cat gives me a boner
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
