So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
