I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
