How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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