This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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