Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
