was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize