it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
