i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
