Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
