All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
