brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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