I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
