Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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