is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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