I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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