I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
