your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
