Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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