the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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