He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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