Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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