I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
