Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
