dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
