Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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