I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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