I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
