absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize