5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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