Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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