dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i think i just lost a toe
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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