Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
