tell your sister to shave her snatch
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
