There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My friends, they love my intelligence
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
