WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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