oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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