Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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