Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
