i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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