i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize