I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
