Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
