my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
