to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
im six kinds of drunk right now
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
