I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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