i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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