STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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