this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
