i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
