i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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