white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
